"You’re
not having another drink are you?” Felicity turned back to the mirror sighing,
“I need to lose a few more pounds to be able to fit into this dress."
"Felicity, you're very thin now. If you lose any
more weight you will disappear." David hoped he didn't show the growing
horror he felt.
She continued to gaze in the mirror with self-loathing
oblivious to the expensive clothes she was wearing.
David gulped more red wine. "Tell me, darling.
What do you see? In the mirror."
"That I’m too fat to fit into this dress
properly!"
David was filled with bewilderment. The woman he loved
was wasting away and he was powerless to stop it. He hated the sight of those
clothes and the wardrobe stuffed with carrier bags from Westwood Cross.
They were the cause of his pain. The cause of his
beautiful wife’s pain too, though she was incapable of seeing it.
He realised only too well the physical and
psychological grip they had on her.
It was like believing there were fairies at the bottom
of the garden. Ridiculous. But beliefs can be so powerful that they create
terrible consequences. Felicity’s belief was a complete delusion. She only saw
an overweight outer self - all five stones of it. Skin covering bone. The
living skeleton oblivious to her inner beauty.
But she claimed she was happy.
He picked up the bottle to refill his glass, but
realised it was already empty. Blearily, he focused through the window on the
vaporous clouds travelling low across the Margate horizon, eventually to
disappear once they'd shed their load of water as rain or snow or hail.
Life cannot exist without water though.
Or food. But it could exist without wine.
Suddenly, in the distance he could make out the rising
shape of the Turner centre, caught in the sun's beams. Now the clouds had gone,
the sunset was a truly Turneresque backdrop of reds, oranges and purple. A
symbol of regeneration. A new beginning.
David stood up and grabbing the wine bottle turned on
his heel and strode towards the kitchen.
After only a minute or two, he returned and noticed
the empty wineglass. He started chuckling.
"David, what’s going on? You’re scaring me."
The colour had drained from his wife's face.
He blinked and saw she was genuinely alarmed.
"I've been an idiot. Stupid, thoughtless and
blind. I’m so sorry, Felicity. I'm going to stop drinking. Just like that. I've
had my last drink. I've emptied the bottles down the sink. Flushed it away with
fresh water. Watched the red disappear. I felt really weird - but so clean
inside. I know that to stay dry isn't going to be easy, though I am absolutely
certain that I must do this. I finally heard what you've been saying for so
long."
Felicity stood in silence then moved quickly towards
the kitchen. At the door, she stopped and turned to face him with tears in her
eyes.
"Would you like a sandwich, David?" After a
brief pause she added, "I'm going to have one too."
© Louis Brothnias, v 2.6 (2009)